This is me

Not me literally, but someone like me — working intently on a computer, drinking coffee and bottle-feeding my baby daughter. Okay, I would not actually be drinking hot coffee while holding my daughter, but you get what I mean.

Daddy duty day

Once a week has been unilaterally declared (by Mommy Princess, who else) as “Daddy Duty Day.” That means one full day of taking care of Baby Girl. It was brought about by three things:

1. A highly stressful Sunday morning getting ready to go to church, finding myself literally face-to-face with a uncharacteristically colic, increasingly hysterical, and terribly inconsolable Baby Girl who refused the indignity of having a quick change of clothes and being bottle fed.
2. My unusual panicky response to the situation, otherwise accustomed to my favorite (and sole) role of playmate and occasional assistant.
3. Mommy Princess’ usual overreaction to any real or perceived wrongdoing on my part.

But in the end, I acquiesced to the suggestion of taking a more hands-on role and be more associated not only for play time but also for baby comfort. Of course, I also wanted Baby Girl to come to me to feel secure, comforted, and safe.

The daddy duty day actually happened unplanned. It so happened Mommy Princess had to work on some home projects while Yaya was assigned to do general room cleaning. And so, by process of elimination, the task of watching over Baby Girl fell on me.

I would have liked to report that the experience was a comedy of errors (and elicit some chuckles on your part), but I am proud to say I redeemed myself that day. True, it was back-breaking with bouts of frustration on both father and daughter and with practically zero opportunity to work on anything else. I helped give Baby Girl a bath, put her to sleep, consoled her, played with her, changed her diapers, put her to sleep, consoled her, entertained her, bottle fed her, put her to sleep, you know the never-ending pattern.

That’s why I tip my hat off at stay-at-home moms/dads — and nannies — for a labor-intensive, ever-stressful, but inevitably satisfying responsibility. Yes, it was a hard day’s “work” just like any job, but no job comes close to having your baby ‘s head slumped over your shoulder, sleeping deeply, peacefully, and securely.

That single day has somehow raised the bond between my daughter and I (she veers towards me almost as much as towards her mom except when hungry and consoling her has become a lot easier). It certainly gave me a lot more confidence and calm (and it had the same effect on Mommy Princess as far as I was concerned). And most important, I would like to think that Baby Girl knows that when she needs me — and not just for fun and games — I am truly there for her.

Daddy=dummy?

Channeling Gloria Estefan



There’s only one thing that can stop Baby Girl from screaming her lungs out. No, it’s not even breast milk. It’s “Rhythm’s Gonna Get You” by Gloria Estefan and The Miami Sound Machine.

When everything else fails, all I need to do is sing over and over:

O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh
O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah
Yah ya goh
O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh
O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah
O eh, o eh
Yah ya goh

Rhythm is gonna getcha
Rhythm is gonna getcha
Rhythm is gonna get you

The rhythm is gonna get you tonight

She gets stunned, quiets down, and falls to sleep. Without fail.

How to dodge diaper duty

I admit to this shameful parental act of omission: avoiding diaper duty. I’m sorry but I am not a big fan of changing baby diapers, especially cloth diaper and particularly after a poop. I don’t mind changing disposable diapers after a pee however. And I will, regardless, if I absolutely have to.

Don’t get me wrong. I know well how to change diapers and I still change diapers every so often (read: rarely), but not as often as the first month (read: sometimes). Here’s how to avoid diaper duty:

1. Get a yaya.
2. Praise mommy for a great “job.” Make her feel appreciated (she deserves it!).
3. Focus on your “core competencies.” In my case, it’s to provide, protect, soothe, and entertain.
4. Divide responsibilities fairly and make sure no one feels being on the short end of the stick.
5. Sometimes, give mommy a break. If yaya is not around and Mommy Princess is too sleepy or tired, I do it.